A little nugget I wrote one year ago today, and I have to say more apt for the world today than even then. Also, I have a little history and experience around working to improve my “response time” when being triggered or put on the defensive by someone whose sole joy (not really, but it sure did feel like it) in life was to get me jacked up to Jesus at the most in opportune moments - right before a big meeting or a big moment (for me), when I was on vacation, about to walk into a friend’s funeral, or yes once while I was trying to race across an airport to get home to deal with the latest “crisis” and then when I did not respond correctly before having to board said plane and turn my phone off - LEFT ME AT THE AIRPORT at 10 pm(ish) after 48 hours of mind-bending international travel home from a VACATION (which I worked every day of) - left me to fend for myself to get home. No call. No text. No nothing. Radio silence.
True story.
I feel a little queasy even in the remembering.
People can be awful to us. I mean God-awful, but we have a responsibility to control how we respond to them - to the people we love, to strangers, to people behind screens on the Internet. Setting boundaries, our reactions, exiting unhealthy relationships…we have a lot of things in our one life we can control…and it can be easy to forget that when you are in the throes of it. Please know that I know that all too well. So let me say that your “whole world” (see quote below) can be the whole world or it can be the person you work with or the person in your home or the high school friend who you haven’t seen for 30 years who has ALL THE SOLUTIONS via their keyboard and the comment box on the Internet. Pulling yourself out of that insanity can be the hardest thing you have ever done, but ask yourself (in the words and voice of the great poet Mary Oliver) - "Tell me, what is it you plan to do / with your one wild and precious life?"
So, here is another #FromTheArchives …
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By sharing this quote, I am not implying we have a considerable amount of groupthink happening in the world today, I am flat out stating it.
If you find yourself reacting immediately one way or another over something…
Pause. Take a breath. Dig a little deeper.
First, is whatever you are reacting to even true?
Second, why is it causing such a strong reaction in you?
Third, is sharing your reaction going to help anything?
I am a woman with big feelings. Huge. I have to work on this ALL the time.
We can all get swept up in the news or crisis or story of the moment. It simply isn’t healthy though (as I have learned). It isn’t healthy for ourselves, or how it impacts those around us.
In a world on fire, remaining calm can get you pinned as ‘crazy,’ and that is okay. I care as much as anyone about any number of things, but I am not a fan of this pile-on process that is happening everywhere. I am not talking about just on social media. I am talking about in rooms, spaces, where people are face-to-face. It’s everywhere.
I guess I am getting more selective about who I share my opinions with and how I share them. Life and beliefs and opinions are nuanced. The smallest amount of things in this world are truly black and white.
I guess I am giving permission to myself and any other recovering “have opinion will share” person out there, that it is okay to tighten that share circle or simply take a beat before you spout off (by mouth or in writing) the first thought that comes to your head.
Also, there is so much dang good happening in the world right now, and I think it is okay if we focus on that more than we focus on the bad.
If scientists are right and where our eyes go, so does our mind, then maybe if we look for the good, we will see more good.
#musings
